Hanami Japanese Restaurant

And so to the first Japanese dining experience on our journey: Hanami (which we are told means "The only Japanese restaurant on Beaufort St") is set back a way from the road and could be easily missed by the undiscerning eye. It is also not huge, as evidenced by the Sponge managing to ram Stinky’s pram into no fewer than 6 tables on the way to our seats (although this could also be testament to the Sponge’s amateur pram-handling status, or the fact that Stinky’s pram is the size and cost of a small car). However, what Hanami lacks in stature, it comfortably makes up for in service and food.

The advance party of the Brains, BOOTO, the Sponge and Stinky arrived first and established camp. As usual, the Deliberator was fannying about somewhere and arrived later on his own. Being an Asian restaurant, and despite her protestations that she wasn’t too well versed in Japanese cuisine, the Brains was in charge of ordering a plethora of dishes to share.

Starters comprised nicely cooked chicken yakitori skewers, a fried white-baity type concoction, tempura squid and octopus balls (taken from a uniquely well-endowed octopus – boom boom). All very nicely presented on little wooden bowls and served very promptly and with a smile.

Mains were beef tepinyaki, assorted sashimi (served on a Mt Fuji-esque mound of grated carrot), chicken teriyaki and mixed tempura. Other than the tempura (which was overbattered and a bit disappointing) all very impressive.

Service was very prompt and attentive, and a uniformed Japanese waitress seemed to be on standby at our shoulder at all times. (These same waitresses were offering exhibitions of paper-napkin crane making at the front counter – the fastest we counted in about 2.7 seconds.) Hanami is licensed too, at not too bad a mark-up.

As we said, Hanami is not huge and, despite being nicely decorated, has something of the feel of a lunch bar rather than a full blown restaurant (offset to some degree though by raised platform-like tables at the front into which tiny people can wedge themselves for the authentic dining experience. Needless to say, this option was denied the Sponge and the Deliberator.) The ambience seems to be slightly at odds with the food and service (and the price - $50 a head with a couple of beers and a bottle of wine), which are akin to a more upmarket venue, however not enough to detract from the experience.

Stinky had a particularly good time, and celebrated his first Japanese dining experience (and his second ever restaurant) by emitting periodic trouser-bombs and generally sleeping through the entire thing.

In all:

Service: Very attentive and polite.

Food: With some (minor and rare) exceptions, top quality.

Ambience: More attune to CBD lunch-bar than fine dining, but tastefully done.

Highlight: Once excavated from the carrot, the sashimi.

Lowlight: Over-battered tempura.

Rating: 3.8 octopus gonads out of 5.

Will we be back? Yes, and not just because it has cornered the Beaufort St Japanese market.

Details: Located at 685c Beaufort St, their number is 9371 9855. Dinner was $50 a head, including 4 beers and a bottle of wine (no dessert).

Coming up: Heading back to mop up Inglewood Pizza and Ankara kebabs. Walcott St looms…

NOTE: Since writing this, it has been brought to our attention that Hanami may not in fact be the sole Japanese restaurant on Beaufort Street open for dinner. If this proves correct, then the Deliberator has galantly offered to commit hari kari to preserve the honour of the Beaufort Street Blog.

Peking Chinese Restaurant

A good friend of the Bloggers said he was an expert in all things related to the Peking Chinese Restaurant. Apparently, he grew up quite close to the restaurant and he and his family visited it on an almost weekly basis for close to 10 years. He never claimed it was great Chinese, and he did mention that it had been sold to new owners since he last went, but we had thought the frequency and longevity of his and his family’s visits implied that the Peking Chinese Restaurant would be a reasonably good place to eat. Turns out though, that the Peking Chinese Restaurant is about the worst place on earth to eat, or at least the worst place in Mount Lawley.

The Bloggers were excited to have Stinky along for his first foray into the blogging world (we couldn’t claim it was his first visit to Beaufort Street, because he’d already partaken in several coffees and plates of eggs on fire down the road at Cafissimo). Stinky was a saint, we heard barely a peep from him as he slept like, well, a baby. If he could talk though, we think he would have been complaining loudly about the quality of the slop served up to us that was meant to be Chinese food.

First a note on the décor. We were actually kind of enamoured by the unrennovated 1970s suburban-style Chinese restaurant. The wallpaper was so old that it had done the full fashion circle and now looks like a Florence Broadhurst print that would retail at around $400 a roll. The dark red carpet combined with the luxurious gold Chinoserie style wallpaper, some elaborate gold and red tassled lighting and the fact that the restaurant was divided into small separate rooms gave us the feeling we were sitting in a high class 1930s brothel. This feeling didn’t last for long though, as when we had a close look at the restaurant’s counter we realised we were firmly planted in a unrennovated 1970s suburban-style Chinese restaurant.

The counter was a delight. It involved your usual 1970s suburban-style Chinese restaurant counter, but with the inspired addition of a giant golden dragon head on one end, and a giant golden dragon tail at the other. The Sponge was really quite taken by the counter, and found it hard to peel his eyes off it all night. He wanted to take it home and fashion a bed for Stinky from it, which, we all agreed, would be the finest bed a young man could have.

In terms of the food, we ordered a large array of deep fried goodies to start – prawn toast, spring rolls and fried squid – as well as a serve each of San Choy Bow. While we were waiting for our entrees, we were delivered a plate of exactly 6 prawn crackers. And they were so old and limp and lifeless we could bend them in half. When the entrees arrived things didn’t get much better - the prawn toast lacked prawn, the spring rolls were just edible, the fried squid forgettable and while the San Choy Bow looked fabulous, it failed to deliver on the flavour front.

We chose the typical dishes one would order in an unrennovated 1970s suburban-style Chinese restaurant – honey king prawns, Szechwan chicken, Mongolian lamb, roast duck and chicken chow mein. The Szechwan chicken had a bit of a kick to it and made our noses run ever so slightly, but we could not taste the rest. Like the San Choy Bow, everything looked great, but just had no flavour to speak of. The sizzling dishes were suitably sizzling, the prawns sufficiently plump, the lamb was sufficiently fresh but nothing was sufficiently tasty. It was incredibly bland food.

Nevertheless, we enjoyed our evening as we drank wine from miniature unrennovated 1970s suburban-style Chinese restaurant wine glasses and admired the beauty of the counter. As we were wrapping things up at the restaurant, and wrapping Stinky up for his trip home, it occurred to us that we hadn’t seen a member of the staff for the last half an hour. We waited and waited, called out, rung the bell, slapped the dragon-bench and did everything we could to attract attention to settle the bill but no one appeared. So we ended up doing a runner.

On the way out The Deliberator needed to use the facilities. Until he saw the condition they were in. They seemed to be built in a bomb shelter sometime during the war and have not been upgraded since. We will try and get a photo up soon.

(Note: we didn’t really do a runner.)

In summary:

Service: Largely unavailable.

Food: Unbelievably tasteless.

Ambience: Like a sleazy b-grade film noir set.

Highlight: Stinky’s impeccable behaviour.

Lowlight: The absence of chilli, garlic, ginger or any other discernable flavour in the food.

Rating: 1 chopstick out of 5.

Will we be back? Shit no.

Details: Call them on (08) 9271 8505. It wasn’t as cheap as we would have expected, and we paid about $40 per head for 2 courses and corkage (we did over-order though).

Coming up: Hanami is next on the strip, but we may back track and tackle some takeaway joints we skipped earlier.

Third Avenue Cafe and Pizzeria

We arrived at the Third Avenue Café without any expectations at all. We did not Google any restaurant reviews before going, we had not spoken to anybody who had been, and our experience of the café was limited to one phone call with the chef to reserve our Thursday night table. This single phone call was to set the tone for the entire evening, as upon confirming our reservation, chef said ‘you’ll really enjoy your night’, and my oh my, never was a truer word spoken.

We have fallen head over heals in love with the Third Avenue Café. That’s love people – more than a teenage crush, more than adulterous lust, more than a clandestine affair – it’s shout it from the roof tops and jump on Oprah Winfrey’s couch style love.

As we write this review we are so excited about this place so we thought it would be easier to simply provide a summary of reasons for our love, so here goes:

1. While the Third Avenue Café is not going to win any architectural or interior design awards, it is a comfortable, roomy café which is not too noisy but still provides a good amount of bustling café atmosphere. There’s a large outdoor area that’s kept warm in winter with an abundance of heaters and would be a great place to sit in summer.

2. The menu has plenty to offer – an extensive selection of entrees, several home made pastas, a good sized list of delicious sounding mains, a page of wood fired pizzas and a blackboard detailing freshly made home cooked specials.

3. It’s BYO.

4. The calamari was cooked to perfection – a great mix of squid rings and other bodily parts of the squid, very lightly battered and fried so the squid was crispy and not chewy. Brilliant.

5. The Blogger’s traditional order of the tasting plate was outstanding. An eclectic mix of tiny morsels of deliciousness. We could have ordered one each again for our mains.

6. Friendly unassuming service that was not in your face but always attentive. A rarity in this city.

7. A breathtaking duck leg with risotto main which seemed to involve more than half a crispy skinned duck.

8. The Café De Paris butter. Now this was probably the highlight. The Sponge’s enormous steak came with a generous dollop of this most delicious substance. So enamoured by the flavours, so overwhelmed by the deliciousness, so excited by the concept, The Sponge hunted down chef to ask what was involved in making such a fine steak accompaniment. ‘Well’, said chef Anthony, ‘there are many different recipes, but traditionally it involves butter, herbs such as chives, dill and rosemary and a whole range of other sauces, spices and flavours’. He went on ‘you know what, I made a big batch last night, I will give you some to take home’. What a generous offer! we thought, but we didn’t really expect that the chef would actually follow through it. How wrong we were, as we left Anthony presented us with an enormous parcel of Café De Paris butter for enjoyment in our own home. What bliss! What generosity! What kindness! We were overcome with happiness. The warm glow is still with us today.

9. Home made ravioli. Delicious, hot, al dente ravioli with a different filling every day.

10. A chalkboard desert menu filled with tempting home made treats. Despite being savoury supporters all the way, the bloggers succumbed to the dessert menu and didn’t regret it.

11. A lovely chef. The Deliberator enjoyed several private chats with Anthony outside the restaurant and he was more than happy to explain the menu to us. Over and over again for The Deliberator, but always with a smile and enthusiasm.

12. It’s great with crowds too – we wanted to test our love for Third Avenue Café by bringing a group of 10 to the restaurant on a Friday night. The service was seamless, wine buckets were plentiful and no one even remotely looked like they were going to ask us to leave after our 4th hour there.

In Summary

Service: Unassuming but efficient.

Food: Amazing. Excellent quality produce combined with great care and imagination resulted in superb food.

Ambience: Pretty standard Perth café ambience.

Highlight: The Café De Paris butter.

Lowlight: We won’t even dignify this with an answer.

Rating: 4.8 succulent steaks out of 5.

Will we be back? We already have been.

Details: Visit their website on

www.thirdave.com.au or call them on (08) 9271 6033. The bill worked out at about $55 per head for 3 courses and corkage.

Coming up: Peking Chinese Restaurant here we come!

It's a baby!

Readers will have noticed a lack of postings in the last couple of weeks, and cleverer readers would have realised it may have something to do with BITO's condition.

The Bloggers are delighted to announce the chaotic, but safe, arrival of The Sponge Junior*, a beautiful and charming chap weighing in at around 3.8kgs.

We will not be offline for long, and look forward to The Sponge Junior's first blog outing.

*not his real name

Thai Orchid Restaurant

As BITO’s due date rapidly approached, many strange happenings had been reported: an unusually bright star was shining over North Perth, a group of shearers were startled by an apparition in fields near Katanning and three exotic kings from the East had been seen wandering Beaufort St with parcels in hand. More importantly, the soon-to-be-grandparents of young Stinky had converged on Perth from all corners of the globe (well, Gippsland and South Perth) to rejoice in the impending birth.

Thus it was with lightness of step and gladness of heart that the Bloggers (plus MOBITO, FOBITO and Mother of Sponge) descended upon the Thai Orchid to celebrate BITO’s potentially last Blogging experience before separating into two distinct beings and undergoing a celestial transformation to become BOOTO (Bun Out Of The Oven).

Not much was known of the Thai Orchid beforehand, other than it was a Gold Plate winner and the waitresses wore gold and silver lacy costumes. This, coupled with the obligatory bling and kitsch, signalled that we were in for an authentic Perth-style Thai experience. And we were not let down:
Ably facilitated by The Brains, the starters consisted of very passable satay sticks, golden bags and fish cakes. Mains were a little late in coming – a minor complaint, but one which carries potentially serious ramifications when coupled with the ever-present galleon of wine that seems to accompany the Bloggers wherever they venture. Accordingly, the main course seemed to meld into a maelstrom of sizzling prawns, chicken and cashew nuts, penang curry and a peculiar dish called the Crying Tiger. (Not sure how many tigers perished in the making of that dish, but it was worth every endangered tear duct.)

Prominent through the wine-induced fog though were the beef massaman and pad thai – two more stalwart Thai accompaniments it would be harder to find, yet the Thai Orchid seemed to take them that extra step. The bottomless steamed rice bowl, served by an attendant, was also of particular note.

Aside from a slight delay in initial menu-presentation and service of main course (which, giving the benefit of the doubt, could well have been intentional as we waited for (guess who) the Deliberator to arrive), the service was friendly and efficient.

In all, a cut above your average Thai.

In summary:

Service: Friendly and no-nonsense (if ever so slightly tardy).

Food: Very tasty, if a little on the mild side.

Ambience: Golden and lacy.

Highlight: The Massaman.

Lowlight: If anything, it didn’t completely blow us away.

Rating: 3.8 golden funbags out of 5

Will we be back? Maybe, maybe not.

Details: Call them on (08) 9473 1300. The bill worked out at about $40 per head with starters and corkage.

Coming up: We may try and backtrack to Inglewood Pizza or Ankara Kebabs prior to, or immediately after, the arrival of Stinky. Otherwise, onwards and upwards towards Walcott!

Jessie's Curry Kitchen and Cafe

Pub folklore dictates that the lyrics go something like "....You know I wish that I had Jesse's girl...",

However, the BSBs have to share with our readers that in our professional opinion there can be no doubt, that prior to its radio release, this classic Rick Springfield hit did in fact make no mention of a "girl", but rather made reference to an unassuming, yet solid curry house situate at 869 Beaufort Street, Inglewood.

From the "blink and you'll miss it" shopfront, Jessie's Curry Kitchen and Cafe makes no promises. In fact, the BSBs were fully prepared to move their Thursday night soiree to another venue, should Jessie's not actually open for evening trade. Fortune favoured the BSBs on this particular night. The lights were on, so we ventured in.

It must be said, there is no mood lighting, nor cosy decor to greet you at Jessie's. There is something much better. It is the genuine, warm hearted greeting of Jessie's husband - the man behind the woman so to speak. So often the BSBs find they are greeted with indifference and at times even annoyance when requesting a table for 4. Baffling really when you consider that the male contingent of our party clearly own big appetites.

But we digress.

Post warm greeting from Mr Jessie, we were immediately accommodated at our choice of table, outside on busy Beaufort Street, yet taking advantage of what was to be one of Perth's last balmy nights for the 2007/2008 Summer. We were then promptly presented with menus and provided with glasses for our vast (of course) array of wine and the excess taken away to refrigeration pending consumption. None of the glasses matched. It has to be said the BSBs take this as a good sign. Having eaten at many a dodgy curry house both here and overseas, the BSBs know that often the lack of matching glassware and cutlery is a good indication that an establishment prefers to concentrate on its food, rather than on needless aesthetics.

Jessie's specialises in Indian and Malaysian cuisine, which makes for a more interesting menu than offered by your average Perth curry house. Whilst both born in Sri Lanka, Jessie and her husband were both raised in Malaysia. Hence the interesting mix.

Even if one were to ignore the obvious handicap of The Deliberator, the BSBs were left...well... deliberating. Thankfully, Mr Jessie came to the rescue with a few recommendations and we were soon on our way.

Starters (to share) included a selection of Dosai (savoury pancake made from rice and dahll), your standard samosas and chapati.

Our mains (also to share) were something of a mystery, with the descriptions on the menu divulging only that we had ordered a chicken curry, a lamb curry and a prawn curry. To play a little safely, we added a Kway Teow to finish. There was definite bite to many of the dishes, however not enough that it took away from the actual tastiness of the various flavours within each curry sauce.

All dishes served were helpfully accompanied with an explanation of the ingredients and origins from Mr Jessie himself. He remained throughout the meal attentive, yet not overbearing nor annoying.

Towards the end of our meal and after much gushing to Mr Jessie, the table was rewarded with a special visit from Jessie who momentarily left her kitchen to check we were happy with our meal and tell us a little of the history of Jessie's Curry Kitchen and Cafe. Of particular note was how hard Jessie acknowledged her husband worked in supporting her in her restaurant endeavours. Aside from running his own business during the day, Mr Jessie helped out as the only wait staff present and also deboned around 100 kilograms of chicken drumsticks per week in order that the chicken used in Jessie's chicken dishes was of the highest standard, without a hint a dryness. Also worth noting is that Jessie is the sole cook behind Jessie's kitchen. The BSBs can say without hesitation that this did not at all affect the timeliness with which their meal was served.

But the best was yet to come. The bill. An inexplicable $70 total!

And so it was that the BSBs left Jessie's Curry Kitchen and Cafe that night with that warm feeling one gets from good food, personal service and a certain smugness with having dispelled a long held myth: Rick Springfield never had a mate named Jesse and even if he did, Jesse is too poncy a name for a bloke to have a hot girlfriend that would make him the envy of his mates. So it stands to solid logic and reason that whilst the BSBs think they made a real find in Jessie's Curry Kitchen and Cafe, it would appear that Mr Springfield made it there and fell in love some 20 years before us.

In summary:

Service: Wondeful, kind, friendly, interesting. We loved it.

Food: Absolutely outstanding curries.

Ambience: It's up to you! You can enjoy takeaway curry-house chic or highway side dining.

Highlight: the warm greeting, Jessie, Mr Jessie and the chicken curry.

Lowlight: there was none worth mentioning.

Rating: 4.5 mismatchng wine glasses out of 5 (our first ever 4.5).

Will we be back? every week if we could.

Details: Call them on (08) 9271 8528. The bill was close enough to zero to not worry about. No corkage was charged. On Friday and Saturdays extra dishes are offered.

Coming up: as we visited Jessie's some time ago, it's irrelevant. We are still going to Third Avenue Cafe this week.

The Inglewood Hotel

After a short hiatus, the Bloggers have now recommenced their journey down Beaufort Street. Given BITO seems only minutes away from becoming BOOTO (Bun Out of the Oven) we decided to skip the 2 takeaway joints between Mekong and the Inglewood Hotel (being Inglewood Pizza and of course, Ankara). We will save them for the arrival of The Sponge Junior as we are not sure how well s/he will adapt to Thursday night dining in the early stages of life.

So, straight to the Inglewood Hotel we went, which was a stop we had all been eagerly anticipating.

The Inglewood Hotel is a great pub, you can always find a seat, it has equally appealing alfresco and indoor dining, it shows sport, plays music, has a good selection of beer and wine and dishes up high quality pub food. Our visit on Thursday night was no exception.

In a major turn out for the books, The Deliberator was running late. Incredible. So, the rest of the Bloggers headed down without him, relishing the opportunity to engage in some high quality conversation without the constant interruption, belligerent comments and general disturbance that The Deliberator, although much loved, is famous for.

While we waited, we bought a bottle of wine, a pint of beer, Turkish bread with dips and some fried chorizo. The chorizo did not look like chorizo to us, but it was delicious. It came out as very thin slices of some Italian sausage or other, crisply fried and served with lemon. The selection of 3 dips were very tasty, although The Sponge felt one of them was completely out of place and was nothing more than a bit of runny yoghurt. The Turkish bread was hot and oily, just the way it should be. The only down side was that there was not quite enough bread, which is nearly always the case, so to avoid wastage we had to pile the dips on the bread in enormous quantities.

The Deliberator then arrived. He picked up the menu, looked at it for about 2 seconds and told us he’d made his decision. It was so incredible we wondered where The Deliberator we knew so well had gone. He then walked to the bar, bought another bottle of wine, came back, slammed the wine bucked on the table, filled his glass to the brim, flopped on his chair and proceeded to educate us on how life is. Oh, there he is.

The Brains ordered the hamburger, which was the biggest and most wonderful hamburger she had consumed in some time. It came with a ridiculous sized serving of chips, and all the necessary extras – cheese, bacon and egg. As for the other dishes, when The Brains sent an email to the rest of the team asking for their input into this review, she decided the descriptions of the meals were better straight from the punters themselves:

The Sponge: ‘Chicken Parmagiana (ie. a tender chicken breast, lightly crumbed, and served with a topping of ham, melted mozzarella and a tomato sauce).’ [Please refer back to the Tony’s Pasta House post for our previous review of a chicken parma.]

The Deliberator: ‘Pork Sausages on a bed of Mash with Caramelised onions and bacon in top all topped with a very nice gravy/sauce (which I can not remember the name of). The Brains had the burger and chips. The "side of chips" for the table was as generous as I have seen ..... and I have seen a few.’

The Sponge: ‘Pretty sure BITO had some sort of lamb dish?? I also had a lager, and some wine. I’m getting flashbacks of some kind of sausage too. The barman had long hair and looked like a bit of a loser. That concludes my memories of the evening.’

The Deliberator: ‘I am surprised and insulted that you do not remember the giant fart I did at the table.’

The Sponge: ‘If it had been a unique event, I am sure I would have remembered it. On the other hand, if one day we sit down to dinner and you do NOT fart, then I am sure it will instill in me a memory I will cherish for the rest of my days.’

In summary:

Service: very friendly, understated but attentive enough.

Food: Top notch, we love this grub.

Ambience: comfortable, relaxing and not so cool that we’re scared away.

Highlight: the giant side of chips.

Lowlight: the waiter’s hair.

Rating: 4 pints of draught out of 5.

Will we be back? sooner than you think.

Details: Call them on (08) 9370 5511. The bill came to roughly $40 per head with ample wine and beer.

Coming up: We are going to Third Avenue Café next, and we know absolutely nothing about it.