Mt Lawley Fish and Chips

It being too late to eat out (due to the incompatability of Stinky’s sleep patterns with the Deliberator’s perpetual fannying about), the Bloggers found themselves housebound and feeling too healthy. The Sponge was complaining that his arteries felt too soft, Booto that her cholesterol was alarmingly low, the Brains that the kilos were simply dropping off her and the Deliberato .. well, he was just generally complaining about his lot in life. Some form of action was required – some call to arms to alleviate this disgusting feeling of fitness and well-being. Like Han Solo taking out Darth’s tie fighter, it was Mt Lawley Fish and Chips to the rescue.

We weren’t really sure what to expect from this establishment: Where was it? And what did they sell? And accompany it with?

All was revealed by our phone conversation with the very helpful proprietor. It’s a fish’n’chipper. In Mt Lawley. Selling the basics together with all manner of fried acountrements that one might expect from its ilk. With this in mind, we ordered the following:

4 x f’n’c (2 grilled, 2 fried)
2 chiko rolls
2 crab sticks
2 serves squid rings
1 crumbed sausage

The Deliberator, completely off his own bat and without a single complaint, offered to collect this feast (passing a flying pig on the way).

And here lies the Bloggers’ major issue: as instructed, the Deliberator arrived at the shop precisely 20 minutes after the order had been placed. And proceeded to wait there for an additional 40 minutes while the order was made ready. The problem lay not with the delay per se, but the misinformation: had we (well, the Deliberator – the rest of the bloggers were p*ssing it up at home) been accurately informed as to the preparation of our battered treasure trove, he could have whiled away the time on the couch. Instead he was made to pass that time alone in the car, phoning the rest of the bloggers every 4 minutes to remind them of the suffering he was going through and his imminent beatification.

Taking into account the fact that Mt L F’n’C does not pretend to be anything other than what it is, the food wasn’t bad. Not brilliant, but passable. Grilled fish and salad (for the ladies) was light and tasty (although they were ridiculously heavy handed with the iceberg), fish fairly well battered, squid rings did the trick and the crab sticks and chiko rolls were suitably greasy and disgusting.

In summary:

Service: Polite enough on the phone. Possibly trapped in an alternate time continuum though.

Food: Not worth driving across town for, but an OK local.

Ambience: With its chocolate walls, dazzling light feature and slick modern art, the restaurant is subtle and sophisticated, like the man himself. Crisp white linen laid tables and highly polished silverware provide an excellent canvas for the chef to reveal his artistic flair and innovativeness. The colour presents itself upon the plate of each diner, with meals being skillfully delivered by waiting staff clad in white gloves and silver grey monogrammed uniforms. The ambience of the restaurant, not unlike the warm shadows created from the slowly flickering glow of the table lamps, seeks to provide a comfortable and inviting haven for the patron to enjoy as they await the amazing creations that arrive before them. (Only joking – it’s just your standard fish’n’chipper.)

Highlight: The Sponge’s reintroduction to the chiko roll. (Tuesday night $6.90 fish and chips is not to be sniffed at either.)

Lowlight: The rest of the Bloggers having to put up with the Deliberator’s hysterical whining.

Rating: 2.9 battered savs out of 5.

Will we be back: Not unless our car breaks down out the front.

Details: Shop 7, 776 Beaufort St (next to Thai Orchid and Third Avenue). (Consume at least two additional beers before collecting order.)

NOTE: The Deliberator, having just proofed this entry, wishes to add some further comments, which are repeated verbatim below:

'Happy with the review with two exceptions:

1. not enough emphasis on the wait. Beaufort Street proprietors should be forewarned; and

2. 2.9 battered savs is an indictment to the battered Sav. Max of two battered Savs only. Beaufort Street Bloggers should not give battered Savs out willy nilly.'

Consider yourselves told.