25 February 2009

Diva Café Mt Lawley

So, here is the Diva review that has been so long coming. Unfortunately, it was that long ago that none of us really remember it, so we consider this to be one of the weakest reviews so far. Sorry about that.

What we do remember follows. The night was warm, and we had young Stinky in tow. Upon arrival, and looking into the long, skinny, multi-layered restaurant, we realised that Stinky’s pram was going to be a tough squeeze. The waitresses helpfully navigated a path and set up a table at the back, giving us plenty of room. (Unfortunately this was located in the highest part of the restaurant right next to the kitchen, meaning it was hotter than Kelly le Brock in Weird Science (although not quite as hot as that French chick out of Braveheart).)

Stinky proceeded to vent his appreciation by fidgeting and farting around for the next hour, preventing Booto from achieving the state of wine-induced nirvana as quickly as she might have liked.

The night was also memorable for the fact that the Deliberator announced what he was having for both starter and main within 90 seconds of sitting down. The other Bloggers without hesitation drove a wooden stake through the heart of this imposter, whereupon the real Deliberator made an appearance and began acting like his trademark puerile self for the remainder of the evening.

As per usual, when we reached into Stinky’s nappy bag and the back of his pram to pull out a bottle of wine each, the bottles were left sitting on our table, warming up in the hot night. We’ve grown so used to the fact that people don’t offer to put wine in the fridge or bring out an icebucket that this has basically stopped being a complaint.

Food consisted of a very passable tasting platter (of course) and pizza to start, followed by a tomato/salmon pasta (Sponge), Moroccan lamb salad (Booto), another anonymous pasta (Brains) and a steak (Deliberator). Oh, and a trough of chips. (Diva does a "cheap" pizza and pasta menu during the week, which offers some pretty good value.)

Service was very helpful and friendly (particularly considering our various impairments), although the food was not overly quick to arrive and those wine bottles continued to sit there sweating.

In summary:

Service: Young and enthusiastic.

Food: Good size portions and better than expected. (Sorry for doubting you, Diva.)

Ambience: The people down below and out the front seemed to be enjoying it, from where we sat in our lofty sweatbox.

Highlight: The platter was pretty good from memory.

Lowlight: Warm booze. And Stinky’s belligerence.

Rating: 3.5 warm sweaty arm-pits out of 5.

Will we be back: Conceivably. Diva ticked all the right boxes, without any particular chutzpah.

Details: Diva is over the road from the (now defunct) Astor. Food was fairly reasonable, and came out at around $40 a head including corkage. Contact them on (08) 9371 9971

Next up: We spent some serious coin at the Pony Club recently, we'll let you know what we thought soon...

Diva Cafe on Urbanspoon


David Cohen said...

So only a bit hotter than Kiera Knightley in King Arthur.

About time you returned. I was beginning to think you'd refused to answer questions from the CCC and had been banged up for five years (and fined $60,000).

Soto edges ever closer...

Robert said...

Welcome back!

We've always found Diva fine, but not too spectacular.

Bento said...


I suspected Siena's management had sent you to sleep with the fishes.

Anonymous said...

If you walk in with wine in hand, rather than in pram, you stand a much better chance of an ice bucket.

The Beer Judges said...

Finally! I've been waiting for this review for a while.

For the record, I believe that Diva do a very reasonable breakfast on a Sunday morning as well.

I'm still waiting to see your review of Chicken Treat in Inglewood =P

Anonymous said...

i think it is a little wrong you wait for weeks on end to write a review and then state in it that you can hardly remember the nightand clearly state it is one of your weekest reviews ever but you persist with writing it what a joke diva has always had great service and food for a reasonable price maybe if you took more notice and actually remembered what happened before you write a review you would give alot better one so called foodies what a joke

Matt C said...

I have a crazy suspicion that mr anonymous might work at/own diva

Anonymous said...

na mate but myself and my wife dine there quiet alot amongst other restraunts in the mt lawley area and alot of your reveiws are great jus dont think its right to be writing a review such along period of time after dining thats not fair to us ppl who like to read your reviews to find out whether an establishment is worth while trying thats all cheers from the castello family

Anonymous said...

Diva did the most divine Seafood Risotto last time I was there.
I love the place. Then again, I don't take babies to restaurants ;)

Beaufort Street Bloggers said...

Hi The Beer Judges - we agree, the breakfasts at Diva are as good as anywhere else on the Beaufort Street strip. And thanks for the reminder about the Chicken Treat review, we will get to it, don't worry.

Seafood Risotto lover - Congratulations on your divine risotto. However the Bloggers unanimously fail to recognise the relevance that the presence or absence of a baby at Diva has on the meal and service received. Perhaps you are alleging that you have some inside information: is it a policy of Diva to spot those with babies and go out of their way to ensure they have a below par night? Do they turn off their air conditioning the minute they spot the child? To be honest, on the surface of things, Diva certainly didn't give us that impression. It is after all "casual dining". They went out of their way to accommodate Stinky. Unfortunately, the lack of air conditioning was felt not only by Stinks, but by all Bloggers. Anonymous, the seed of doubt has been planted: if we'd left Stinks at home, could we too have enjoyed a divine risotto in air conditioned comfort????????

Beaufort Street Bloggers said...

David Cohen - is Soto an option for dinner, or should we do breakfast there instead? And we're interested to know what interest you have in the place... very curious...

Robert - absolutely agree. We had a nice meal there, we really did, it just didn't knock our socks off. Really, it didn't have to though, Diva does casual cafe dining and it does that well.

Bento - it is panning places like Sienas that means we must remain anonymous. We always wear disguises when on the strip, and we often dress Stinky up as a girl to throw people off. Very sneaky.

Anonymous re wine in hand - we would have thought leaving 4 bottles on the table is a good enough hint that we've brought wine with us that needs cooling. But we'll try your tip in the future and see if that gets us anywhere.

Seafood Risotto lover said...

Ahhh, see BB! It's quite simple...really!
Your inclusion of Baby In Pram (BIP),meant that you got the short straw when it came to seating! Up in the rafters near the kitchen. Hot, hot, HOT!
Dine,sans Stinky, enjoy a slightly cooler, less hot seat, with none of that annoying farting and fidgeting ...and the staff won't be inclined to put you "out the way" (OMG- that doesn't actually happen does it?!?!Ummm...yes!) which is where other diners like to have BIP's when they dine out...as long as it's not theirs, of course ;)

BTW- try the canteen at Perth College! ;)
I suggest you take Stinky as there will be no shortage of babysitters :D

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