Nando's

Unfortunately Inglewood Pizza doesn’t seem to be open on Tuesday nights (nor does it deliver, for reference) and so our plans of knocking out a quick takeaway blog before The Brains’ departure to Dubai on Thursday were thrown into disarray.

In order to maintain our momentum however, it was decided to jump way down the list (and down Beaufort St) to Nando’s. The Sponge was volunteered to collect the meal, giving him a chance to sample the big city lights on the other side of the Walcott Street psychological divide (which, in the ordinary course of things, we are still about 7 or 8 weeks away from achieving).

We do not plan to comment at length on the food at Nando’s – it is hard to believe that anyone in this day and age would still be a Portuguese-style chicken virgin. Suffice to say it is hearty, nourishing food which has a bit of a cult following around these parts.

The BSBs realised the challenge they would face in attempting to rate the chain "restaurants" along Beaufort Street: it was always going to be more a case of what they got wrong rather than how they impressed you.

First the good: pretty solid fare to cure what ails you on a cold rainy Tuesday night. The 12(?) year old behind the counter also did a commendable job in dealing with the throng of Tuesday night chicken lovers and phone orders. And they still do a pretty good chip.

Unfortunately though, despite the Sponge picking up on the fact that they’d left out one of our drinks while still in the establishment, it was only noted upon reaching home again that they had omitted a large bag of chips as well. (The Deliberator took this as a personal affront and threatened to go back and shoot the place up, a la Michael Douglas from Falling Down.) It was noted that this seems to be a common failing of Nando’s – all four BSBs could remember separate instances where they had been short-changed by the big red and green chicken.

The food was also not quite as tasty and fresh as the BSBs recalled (although this might have something to do with the fact that the Sponge had brought the food back on his [large motorbike] in a paper bag lovingly cradled between his feet). Nor was it as lavish a feast as one would expect from a takeaway joint for $45 – both the Sponge and the Deliberator found themselves filling in the corners with toast afterwards. (Mind you, this is a bit like saying that the Grand Canyon still had a bit of room left after dumping in a truckload of sand.)

Despite the Deliberator again doing his plague-of-locusts impression on his chicken bones (which made for compelling, if slightly nauseating, viewing), it was all in all a fairly blah Tuesday night fine-dining experience.

Service: Very capable and friendly, despite appearing to contravene some post-Industrial Revolution child labour laws.

Food: Fulfilled a purpose, despite a certain lack of taste and, well, dishes.

Ambience: The wooden tables and chairs elevate it slightly from your Macca’s or HJ’s, however it is still a chain.

Highlight: BITO’s thigh pack.

Lowlight: We’ve forgotten it already.

Rating: 2.5 missing bags of chips out of 5.

Will we be back? Who are we kidding? Yes.

Details: Call them on (08) 9228 9797. The cost was $11 per head.

Coming up: We are determined to knock over Inglewood Pizza this week – possibly in the absence of The Brains.